So, my job is cutting back hours and this marks my second Saturday off since July (since before I started the job, haha). The good news: I get a Saturday off. The bad news: Well, I get a Saturday off so I now make less monies. :<

Bummer. I watched Million Dollar Baby, and man, was that ever depressing. I’m now listening to sleep indie music, and it’s starting to get depressing too. I really need to find something fun to do. I think I’m going to edit a video while I watch Pride and Prejudice (again). The bright side of today was hanging out with the Jays, making music and recording a bit. I now have this Gravity song stuck in my head.

But yeah. I work tomorrow morning (it’ll be super slow, but I’m looking forward to doing something productive), and then I have some crazy All-Sing practice all tomorrow afternoon-evening. Today is definitely the calm before the storm.

I’m writing this blog with the intention of there being two parts: a before and after. That is, before the meltdown and after the meltdown. With that being said, I suppose many of you are wondering, “Why exactly is Linda anticipating a meltdown?”

This is why: Do you ever feel like you’re drowning in moral obligation? You’ll probably say no, and I respect that. But if you know me at all, you probably know that when I do something, I try not to do it halfheartedly (with the exception of any school work, I suppose). So recently I’ve been kind of well loaded with a lot of work. Not just school work or even regular work, but a lot of extra…work. Not that I really mind doing any of those things, it’s just that little things (however simple) tend to add up. I pulled my first all nighter this semester on Monday night, and it actually very little to do with school and nothing to do with any of my classes. That’s strange, isn’t it? Yeah it is.

Now, I’ve told people what I’ve been up to and here’s my deal. I’ve been called a push over, “too nice,” a robot, mindless, and some other really degrading things in the past few days. But I’m not really complaining about that either, but more about what’s really going on with me these days?

What should I call it?

- Struggling? Busy? Difficult? Intensely immensley lost and confused? I don’t have a clue. These days I just go with the flow until someone stops me in my tracks and even then I wonder what I am doing. Is this healthy? Probably not. Is this angsty? Of course.

I just hope this makes sense to somebody out there.

Also, I have a doctor’s appointment tomorrow and it is wigging me out. Pray for me?

I’ve already hit this week running with so much on my plate. The weekend almost feels like a blur, making crazy videos and just messing around. But, now I’m back in full action, ready to rock the world with this wave of academic hysteria.

Things to do include:

- Japanese hw

- English daily notes, reading

- Phoenix site stuff

- AAA

• Awareness script
• website
• meeting info
• Music

- Misc Upcoming

• Public Speaking session thing
• Doctors appt (Friday)
• Tutoring (Friday)
• More script writing

Save me?

Seriously, why do I need to make a facebook note when I have a whole blog to host my own thoughts?

1. I am a self proclaimed super sleuth. It’s actually one of my hidden talents. I’m pretty good at digging up dirt or finding out something about someone using the internet, mutual friends, etc. Once I did a favor for a friend and found out the name, age, location of a girl that her boyfriend was cheating on her with….just from a picture. Oh, and if you have a personal blog, I’ve probably already found it. I don’t really read through them, but it’s a accomplishment to find it.

2. I have a MySpace, but I only have it for work…so that’s kind of like grown up peer pressure. All my grown up work friends have a MySpace and that’s all I’m friends with: work people plus Jenni’s husband Brandon, Jackiee, and Adam. Yeah, I hardly get on it.

3. One of my greatest attributes (and probably faults) is that I’m a very loyal person. If you are my friend or realtive, I would probably do anything for you and could never hate you. I’m very protective, especially over my girl friends. That being said, if someone has wronged you in anyway, I have no problem hating that person or enacting revenge. So even if you bear no ill will to an exboyfriend or a skeezy ex girlfriend or some chick who called you a name in middle school, I can hate them forever for you. Because I can do what you can’t and have no problem with it.

4. I’ve been told that I judge too quickly, but I don’t really believe that. I believe that I will always respect you until you do something to change that. And I always give chances. It’s just really hard to like someone if they’re obviously not interested in being cordial.

5. I wear a ring on my the fourth finger of my left hand. There’s nothing really symbolic about it, and I’m not really big on jewelry. I’ve just worn a ring on my left hand for about 10 years now and it feels really awkward if I don’t have it on. Like, my hand feels lighter.

6. I’m a music snob, but I do enjoy lots of different types of music (indie rock, Japanese, musicals, pop, alternative rock, punk, folk, VERY little ska, I’ve recently gotten into Girl Talk…hardly any country or hip hop). And if I tell you I hate your music based on principle, I’m am lying and probably secretly love it.

7. I would love to direct, write, and perform a musical. I hope I can do it before I graduate.

8. I absolutely hate taking things from my parents. Except for very few cases, I have paid for everything myself. Btw senior year (including all senior fees, college apps, test score fees, etc) and this year (tuition + books) were the worst.

9. I really do wants lots of children. I don’t expect to have 9 kids of my own, but I would like a big family. And none of them will be so far spaced apart like I am from my siblings. I feel like I kind of missed out on all the fun.

10. My parents and older siblings are authentic refugees and I will carry that value with me the rest of my life. I am a very priviledge young person, and I like to think I carry my parents’ work ethic, morals, and compassion.

What am I doing?! I can’t write muuuusic!!!!

Every original song I try to play/sing ends up sounding depressing and stupid. I hate it! I am starting to think it’s the guitar that does it. Oddly enough, I can make up a musical number in my head no probz. This is why I am so not a song writer.

p.s. I’m in a band now!

It’s 10:35 in the morning. Do you know where your children are?

Well, I’m a child (like so many of you, har har), and I’m sitting in the North Commons not doing squat. Well, actually I’m just doing my regular thing: flipping through Threadless, the NY Times, this really cool deviantart site I found (http://muzelmuh.deviantart.com/), and chillaxing before my  next class starts.

I’m done with 1 class (out of 5) already. It’s been slow so far and doesn’t look like it’ll get any better. But at least it’ll be warmer. Supposedly, according to my sources (weather.com and the Beacon confirms it), the hi will be 50. And tomorrow will be be hi 57. Shocker, considering how yesterday was just a breezy 30 degrees (that’s below freezing)…and I was outside singing on the Pedestrian Walkway for 2 1/2 hours. Yeah, that was me.

Anyway, about the Bake Sale. It was pretty fun. We didn’t sell as much as we’d hope, and the weather was just awful. Bright and sunny, cheerful, but miserably cold. I mean, nobody was really into a “muffins and cookies and cupcakes” kind of mood. My maracoons were a pretty good hit, though (thanks Jenni), so there’s that. Although I do think that most of the AAA members working the table ate (paid for, at least) most of them, if not all of them.

It’s okay though. Even though I was really embarrassed (and more so now that I look  back on it), I still had a pretty sweet time. I’d do again….in a year or so. Haha.

It’s all under consideration.

Quick post. I wish I updated this stupid thing more, but I feel like I’ve been so busy these past few weeks with Bake Sales, annoying textbook nonsense, assignments about antsy literature-hungry nonconformists and their struggle with modern America (aka English 254), Japanese (always a struggle, always a battle), and whatever else that’s flooding my mind.
But now? It’s 2AM. I’ve got class in about 6 hours, should probably wake up in about 4 1/2, and from 8am to 5pm, (back to back) I have a full plate of 5 classes tomorrow…with a side of unenthusiasm.

On the bright side, I will get to take a long nap after it. And soon, it will be Friday, then not longer my super 5 hour work day (more on this later), and then Sunday (EMPLOYEE PARTY YESSSS),and then another week of nonsense. This semester, I start off the day running for sure. There’s always something to do, something to update, something to finish, something to start on.

I am afraid I won’t be able to keep up. Oh, Spring semester. Help me out here.

Finished.

Here is an overview of my courses

- Western Civ 242:

So far, not so bad. We’re starting history from like, 1715 or so…which is the pick up of Western Civ, IMO. I actually paid attention and am keeping very detailed notes. I enjoy the French Revolution, so huzzah! Something entertaining. I am kind of sad that Sophie and Connor are no longer in my class…but what can I do? Sigh. Be bored, I guess.

- Japanese 252:

YAAAAAAY. My favorites are all in this class and I’m having a ball so far. We only had class like every other day (because our professor is in Japan right now), so it’s been super laid back. I missed those guys all winter break, and seeing them every day kind of makes me happy.

- Japanese 321 (Anime and Manga):

It’s actually quite interesting and I like it. So nana nana boo boo, I’m a big nerd SO WHAT.

- English 254: Social Commentary and the Rise of Rebels in a Conformist Society (or something to that effect, I forgot the exact name of it):

It’s pretty hardcore, I’d have to say. Our prof has already assigned us a buttload of homework and essays and whatnot. I’m swamped. But I like the material–we’ve read Mario Savio’s speech from the famous 1964 Berekeley protest and Huxley. Of all the 254 classes, mine is probably the hardest, but I like a challenge. I just hope I do well.

Aaaaannndddddd…

You may be wondering what happened with JEM275? Well, the truth is I accidentally missed class (it was a mandatory first day attendance), and so I got dropped…yeah, I got kicked out of a class! Hahahaha, but no worries. I am now in an English class to make up for loss of credit and will take 275 in the fall, if not the summer.

Begins tomorrow. I am excited and nervous and a little frenzied! I am not quite sure what to expect.

It’s go time.

I went to the Valarium with Darina and Zach (new friend) and some of John’s friends last night for New Year’s Eve. Oh yeah, what a way to start the new year right? Clubbing. So not my thing, but very interesting none the less.

I recognized at least five songs, had a weird old drunk guy hit on me (gross), had drinks spilled on my leg, had people literally stop to watch how bad I was dancing (point and laughed), and still managed to have a fun time. Go me.