I’ve always wanted to do this, and never got around to it last year, so here it is. 2008 in a review with random events, days, feelings, but most importantly memories. A lot of it is pretty stupid,  deeply sad, uplifting, unchanging, and probably incredibly boring for most of you, but that’s my year.

I think I will start with December 2007.

December 2007

The end of my first semester in college.
The beginning of my relationship with Connor (Christmas Eve).
My first retail Christmas / Hell
And yet there was Ultimate epicness.

January 2008

Spring semester begins.
Darina’s birthday in a park in Farragut
Connor’s birthday bash all over Knoxville, trying to completely my and Treston’s list of “100 Things To Do Before You Die.”
Oh, and Catholic Man videos. Haha.

February 2008
My mom’s birthday a.k.a. The Escapde where my parents and I tried to go out to eat (but the wait was ridiculous), and after trying to go to about 5 different restaurants around West Knoxville and Turkey Creek, we ended up going through Taco Bell. Oh yeah, good birthday.

March 2008

Worked at [the store] all Spring Break. Yeah, it was super exciting. lol
Sean Letsinger’s birthday party: Darina and I crashed it. We also brought Darina’s baby niece Chelsea and tried to give her to Sean….really, we just stuck a bow on her ’cause we didn’t get him a real gift lol.

April 2008
For some reason, I hardly remember April at this moment, but finals sucked.

May 2008
Worked three full works (40 hours) at [the store] trying to make enough money for California.

June 2008

Stayed in California for three weeks with Dieu. Hella!
Went to Santa Cruz, San Francisco (a million times: Chinatown, Japantown, Pier 39, Little Italy, China Beach, Union Square shopping!), San Jose, Pittsburg, Oakland, and basically conquered the entire Bay Area.

July 2008

Fourth of July Party at Dieu’s. Their fireworks were ridiculous.
Quit [store]. But ended up taking leave of absence, ’cause I came back after all! Haha.

August 2008

Started sophomore year.
Started collegespaz!
Started new job at [photography studio].

September 2008

My 19th Birthday party was a karaoke blast. Oh, and we played movie taboo. Best birthday ever.
Unfortunately, after this short happiness, I was sick for about a month (until like, Halloween).

October 2008

Prom reenactment. Totally awesome. I was sick during this, too, but it was wonderful. I think this whole month was just wonderful.
Mom went to California for a month, then Dad for a week.
Went Kayaking during Fall Break!
Karaoke Halloween party at Connor’s. I was a 70’s Go-Go Dancer.

November 2008

Connor and I broke up. There was a ton of wallowing (and a lot of late night phone calls to Sophie and Dieu). And I don’t mean to be dramatic, but the rest of this month just felt pretty dull and empty after that.
Including Thanksgiving / Black Friday: it just wasn’t very peppy this year.

December 2008

In this month, I think my whole goal (if you will) was to find someone (a friend) who could fill the hole that November left me in or better, clean up the mess that I made. I hung out with old friends, I met new ones. It may be too soon to decide if that worked or not, but that’s what happened.

- So, in a way, it was a month of trying to rebuild my self confidence (and this is continuous).
- IHB
- I JOINED BCM ALL-SING and I LOVE IT. We are going to perform the Prince of Egypt in the SPRING and I CANNOT WAIT SRSLY!!!
- Christmas party at Sophie’s (really fun and awesome, I laughed the whole night)
- Khai came home for Christmas. And this included tons of pictures, a bit of karaoke (and obviously not enough), visiting family friends, and what have you. We saw Twilight together (lulz).
- OH and I got a 120 GB iPod for Christmas (yes, you can be jealous), and i love love love it. It will last me until I die.

January 2009?

Who knows. I hope it’s good.

Merry Christmas. It’s all over.

This Christmas has been so different in many ways. First of all, not only am I working through it (like last year), but I working two jobs! And Sissy and Corby were unable to make it here this Christmas, which was a bummer. Another thing is that I am very single this Christmas…which brings about a strange combination of depression, awkwardness, and irony (to balance out the angst). But whatever. I have been determined to enjoy the holiday regardless.

Our family “christmas lunch” was enjoyable. Mom made too much food as per usual, just because there was traditional American christmas food and then Vietnamese food (that no one could eat because we were stuffed) and random food like deep fried shrimp and Kraft cheese cubes (that no one ate because it was too stupid to have at the table anyway). And after reiterating my brother’s comments to my parents about a dozen times, I just kept laughing the whole time.

And for those of you who don’t really know my family, here’s how a conversation went.

[on the subject of this whole turkey that we didn't have time to make, so we stuck it in a freezer]

My older brother: So, my friend Preston said he could’ve help you with the turkey.
Mom: Oh that turkey. Why didn’t you help me with the turkey? I was expecting you to help!
Brother: Well, you could give it to my friend Preston.
Mom: (completely ignoring him) I don’t really like turkey anyway. It is so difficult to prepare..
Brother: You could give to my friend Preston.
Mom: Turkey is so difficult to make, but it’s really good! What did you say?
Brother: Nevermind.
Me: No, Mama. He was saying he has a friend named Preston that could help you make turkey.
Mom: Oh, you have a friend? Well, why didn’t you tell me sooner! We could’ve had turkey today.
Dad: (coming back to the table) What’s going on?
Mom: Oh, Khai was just saying he has a friend who knows how to cook turkey.
Dad: What friend, who?
Mom: Um–whatshisname, I forgot.

Or:

My brother: Hey mom, do you know what a potsticker is?
Mom: A what?
Brother: A potsticker.
Me: It’s kind of like a wanton, Mom.
Mom: Oh, wantons? Yeah, they’re half moon shaped, right?
Brother: Yeah, they are. Do they have those in Vietnam?
Mom: Oh, you want some? I saw them at Sam’s. I can go to Sam’s tomorrow and get some if you want it.
Me: No, Mama. I think he just wants to know if you know how to make it.
Brother: Yeah, I was just wondering if they have them in Vietnam.
Mom: (ignoring both of us) They’re not really hard to make, you just boil them. The outside is hard to make though, but they sell them at Sam’s for really cheap so I will just go tomorrow and pick some up for you guys okay? I didn’t know you guys wanted dumplings!
Me and Brother: (laughing hysterically)

My family’s tree is interesting. First of all, it’s fake. With pre-lit lights. It’s practically the shame of all things spirited,  joyful, and holiday. The only good thing about it is the ornaments. No, it’s not completed decorated, and they’ve been collected so many different ways (some I made when I was 6 at the Fantasy of Trees), some are gifts, some are from the 80’s (when my brother and sister were kids), and some are just plain stupid. In fact, I found a random ninja star-like toy stuck on it like an ornament a few nights ago (I promptly took that off, how embarrassing).

Anyway, it’s a very stupid tree. But I like it anyway, because it’s mine.

Oh yeah, it’s here.
Last night was the annual group/gang/friendz Christmas party and it was a blast. I don’t think I have laughed so much in weeks. It was just great to be with everyone, to just relax, to be free from all the stress that accumulates from school, work, and just being a teenager (angst, angst, angst).

You laugh, but it really was nice.

In other news, work has been pretty crazy. I’ve worked every day this week (except Thursday–the party), and they called me in to the studio today (a first). This weekend will be very busy. But it will all be worth it, because I get TWO WHOLE FREE DAYS (Monday and Tuesday) to RELAX and hang out with my big brother (who lands tomorrow!!!) and just be goofy. I can’t wait!

I would like to say that this Christmas brings a sigh of relief, but for some reason, this year has been so difficult! I guess the end of the year, the work, and all this other drama has added up. Last night was probably the first night all month that I have felt actual holiday cheer, sincereity, and thankfulness (which is such a shame). I feel guilty about that. Next week is Christmas, and though Christmastime is my favorite time of the year, I will be glad when it is over (for several reasons). When we are back in school, and I can concentrate on something else!

So I am finally back (at the store), and it is busier than ever. In case you guys didn’t know, I decided to go back to (THE STORE) over winter break, because I am a very boring person and I have no life. Thus, now I am working two jobs during winter break. It’s dumb, but I have nothing better to do, so whatevs.

On Monday, I cashiered. It was so weird. Like jumping back on a bike, really. All this knowledge started flooding back–small talk to keep customers happy, strategy to keep a good speed score, and effectiveness in bagging. Tuesday, I was at Guest Service, and while I forgot a bunch of stuff (and had to ask my supervisor over more than a few times), it was fun. I remembered how much I liked it, along with how much I hate cashiering.

Today, I am at the [Cafe], and this will be super interesting. I mean, I still think I can do it. But I’ll be holed up in a corner and probably no one will even see me for the entire shift (except customers, of course). It’ll be boring, but I’ll probably just sing the whole time to keep from going insane.

I’m stoked.

———————-

In other news, after my shift yesterday, I had coffee (bad, bad coffee) with C at Borders. It was really nice. It’s been almost a month now, and I’ve had a hard time dealing and trouble with this ridiculous concept of “keeping busy” (a phrase which I hate now), but I think we’re good. No animosity, not too much awkwardness, and definitely not too much casualness to where we weren’t serious. I tried not to be a big baby about it, but I do get weepy when I talk about serious things, so there’s that. I hope I didn’t scare him.

But anyway, I can’t stress enough how comforting and relieving hanging out with C was. I missed my best friend, and salvaging that is more important to me than any romantic relationship. After yesterday, I think there’s a chance we could get that back.

Horray.

I have a Western Civ final in about seven hours and boy, am I stoked for it. Sorry, not really. I think I am all history’d out and then some. I spent about three hours in the library typing up notes and studying with Beavs. We were all holed up on the six floor (creepy) trying to outline essays and study for this NONSENSE. And to be fair, history is important yadda yadda yadda. But I am not a fan. :<

This is my second to last final and I can’t be more grateful to get it all over with. The last one (frightengly Japanese Lit 313) is on Wednesday, and that day will be my demise. I don’t even know how to study for it! How does one prepare oneself for analysis of Japanese literature?!

In these last two weeks, more than ever, I feel unprepared, scared, slightly unmotivated, and finally stupid. Yeah, I feel pretty dumb. This entire semester wrapped up in one day…and here it is. Worthless.

I am grateful for this ‘end to my misery,’ but in a way, I am a little sad. I’ve only got a few more days left on campus..and you know, campus minus the boring school stuff, is actually quite wonderful. I have friends there, I have opportunity, I have fun. And yeah, I like to learn. So there’s that. It’s going to be a month without it. I think I will miss it.

..that is, until January hits and I have another 17 hours of NEVERENDING PAIN. But right now I’m feeling nostalgic, so whatevs. I want finals to be over, but I don’t want school to be done just yet.

To be blunt, my first final today (Japanese language) was horrific. Plain awful. I studied for about five hours and it was still pretty terrible. I’m not sure what I did wrong, or what I could’ve done to prepare for it better, but I feel like crap about it. :<

On the bright side…I did get to hang out with some fun people today after the Japanese final. We went to Panera. Generally, I am going to miss Japanese with Mahagi-sensei, but there is a good thing that came out of this semester. Next semester’s Japanese class is going to be awesome–Amit and I are going to sing m-flo, and I will probably embarrass myself even more, and and and I don’t know what else. I’ve made some really nice friends in these past few weeks, and I’m excited to start off the next semester with them.

As far as distractions go, Japanese friends might be able to help. I think.

Went to my first (and the last of the semester) BCM All Sing rehearsal today and it was SO much fun! I haven’t sung in a choir/chorus in ages and it felt wonderful to be a part of it. I thought I wasn’t going to know anyone there, but it turns out two girls (Shelitha and another girl from high school) are in All-Sing too! And we are all sopranos. I am so stoked. I was really nervous the whole time, but we practiced for about three hours. Oh man, everyone in BCM is AMAZING. They are so wonderful and talented and I am completely enamored.

The actual group audition was very scary–we were way off tempo, but we placed! TOP TEN HELL YEAH!!!! So, everyone keep Feb. 6 and 7 open. You gotta reserve tickets early (All Campus Events will sell them during Spring Semester), but I really want everyone to go and see meeeeee singing The Prince of Egypt!

lai lai lai lai lai~

————-

After that, my new awesome friend Ellen and I went to Molly’s for an awesome party (the first of many IHB parties). We ate every kind of conceivable chocolate (hot chocolate, cookies, brownies, Lindt chocolate truffles, chocolate covered cherries…and more chocolate) and watched four movies. It was really nice to just chill and hang out with girls who know what I’ve been going through lately. I feel like we’re all really strong people and can get through difficult times with good support..in the form of chocolate.

Recently, I’ve felt like I need a distraction…so far, I’ve been to club parties, mini movie marathons, and just hanging out with people. I’ve even started reading again. The good thing about it is that I am actually keeping my mind off things. But the bad part comes when I stop, even to take a break..I start thinking about..other things. It bums me out a lot of the time, but I am trying to be optimistic. After talking with a friend, I’ve decided that not all hope is hopeless (yes I said that). Some trials are harder than others, and this one is pretty tough so far.

But I’m working on it!

FINALLY. Today was one of the busiest days of the semester, and hardly any of it had to do with my actual classes.

Woke up a few hours earlier to head over to Jenni’s apartment to bake some Macaroons (magically delicious) for the AAA Potluck. I originally intended to make a double batch (one to give to my fellow freindzzz at PI, but that didn’t work out). Jenni ended up skipping her class and we watched 27 Dresses, ate pizza, and gossiped instead. Very productive.

[Okay, this part is boring]

I finally got to Japanese, took the listening portion of my final, went to IR (spent literally 20 minutes doing nothing but a course evalution, the last quiz), and that was it. I spent another 20 minutes trying to figure out what I was going to do for the next unanticipated 2 hours before the AAA Potluck Party…and decided to drive out to Dieu’s house.

[Yes, very boring so far, but wait for the good part.]

We all finally got to the AAA Potluck..and it was pretty fun. The awful part was that we didn’t actually eat at first (we had no plates, though all the awesome was laid out), but then someone saved us all and finally brought us plates a good hour later. I was so happy, I almost cried. But I didn’t.

The actual crying came later when someone put a spider on a napkin on my lap. =(

Overall, I have decided I am not really a party person. Don’t get me wrong, I mean, I love the idea of the party. When I hear ‘party’ I am stoked. I like getting ready for parties, baking things for parties (which I never do), and even talking about parties (sometimes obnoxiously). I’m just fine, the day before, RSVP-ing, and even driving there. But when I walk through that door, suddenly I’m a recluse.

Everyone says, “Hey Linda! Nice to see you” and I strategically reply, “Umm—errrr what” and blank. Suddenly, I have no social skills whatsoever and revert to my 11year-old-self clinging to the walls (like no other wallflower, in the history of antisocial behavior in teens, has seen before) hoping someone will ask me for a dance in middle school. It’s pathetic. I know.

But that’s how I am. Shy. Go figure.

So I apologize to everyone. I am so not good at parties.